Does Your Marriage Need A Tune-Up?

  • Published
  • 18th Wing Chapel
KADENA AIR BASE, Japan --  The Kadena Chapel is sponsoring a marriage retreat at Okuma Resort Mar 28-30 that is open to all military members.

Marriage is a lot like car maintenance. Unless you are an expert with a wrench and just love popping the hood of your vehicle, working on the car is probably not your idea of fun. In fact, most people don't give their cars much attention unless something goes wrong. The brakes begin squeaking, there is a funny knocking sound as you speed up, or the engine light turns on signaling we need to pay the mechanic a visit. Many of these headaches could be avoided if we had routine check-ups done on our vehicles.

In a similar fashion, many military members forget to check on their marriages as they are cruising through life. The normal operations tempo is demanding; deployments challenge the family dynamic and PCS's remind us of the difficulties of transition. Before we know it, the light turns on in our relationship and reminds us to give it some attention. And by the way, to drive on and pretend we don't see this light glaring in front of us doesn't make anything better - only worse.

So, how can we give our marriages a tune-up? The following actions can help a marriage run smoothly.

First, spend quality time with each other. Don't allow the routine nature of military life to squelch out the intimacy of personal time devoted only to your spouse.

Second, be creative in the ways you convey your love. Surprise them by doing a chore they normally perform, leave them a note of encouragement or take them to their favorite place to relax. You know your spouse best; do something that will tangibly show them your love.

Lastly, open yourself up and share what you are going through personally. Talk. Make yourself vulnerable to them and trust them with your innermost struggles, desires, and fears.

Every now and again our marriages, just like our cars, need a tune-up. Give your marriage the attention it needs.

One unique opportunity to give your marriage a check-up is a retreat led by Kadena Chapel to Okuma Resort from Mar 28-30. This event is open to all military members. Lodging and meals are covered, but expect to spend some money on entertainment. There will be a few short sessions coupled with a lot of quality time with your spouse. A child program will be available during the retreat sessions. To sign up for this retreat or for more information call the base chapel at 634-1288 or visit www.Kadenachapel.org.

Whatever you do, even if you can't attend this retreat, do what you can to keep your marriage running strong with quality time, creativity and honest dialogue.