Commentary: Be a Designated Thinker Published Aug. 18, 2009 By Maj. Michael Clancy 18th Component Maintenance Squadron KADENA AIR BASE, Japan -- When it comes to DUIs, I, like most leaders, feel that one DUI is one too many. Normally, I wait for a trend to develop before I attempt to address a problem. But in the case of DUIs, the trend is more and more people driving impaired, leading to someone being hurt or killed. I can't wait for that to happen. So in the absence of trend data, I suggest we use the "Trial and Error" method to address the problem. Here is what I think we should try: From this day forward refuse to be a designated driver and instead agree to be a "Designated Thinker." This may seem like a simple, perhaps useless change, but let me explain: In my short time as a commander, I have seen that most people start their night with a plan. This is certainly a positive trend which suggests people want to do the right thing. In some cases, they follow their plan. However, if the plan isn't well conceived it can go awry. It doesn't take much for this to happen. For example, let's say some Airmen agree to walk instead of drive, but if they are too drunk to find their way home they still have a problem. Good plan, but not necessarily well thought out. In another case, the plan is actually pretty sound, but unforeseen problems come up during execution. For example, the same Airmen learn from their previous experience and agree to pay for a cab to get them back home. However, at some point during the night, the person with all the money loses his wallet. This setback will cause them to change their plan which is usually when mistakes happen. In both cases, the reason for the mistake is simple: people are trying to make decisions while drunk. Rarely will anyone come up with a better idea while drunk than when they are sober; thus the need for "Designated Thinkers!" The Online Urban Dictionary defines a Designated Thinker as "one who refrains from drinking, smoking, etc., in order to act as the brains of the situation." This is the person who is responsible for the group. Now, not everyone can be a Designated Thinker. It takes someone who is good at making decisions and confident in the decisions they make. Just because you are sober doesn't mean you have common sense. If you feel you meet the qualifications, then here is how you get started. When your friends ask, tell them you will be their Designated Thinker not just a driver. Then tell them the rules: 1) You have the final say on the plan for the night, no questions asked; 2) Once everyone starts drinking, they forfeit all decision-making rights until they are sober; 3) Like it or not, your word is law. Once your friends agree to the rules, it is important for you to review the plan for the night. You should consider what it will cost to execute the plan and all possible contingencies. Make sure you can cover the cost by getting money from your friends before anyone starts drinking. Once the night starts, remember who you are and remember what your friends will become. As the night goes on, they will become more impaired. Don't listen to them! Just take care of them. Remember, they agreed to follow the rules so hold them accountable. Make good decisions for them and yourself that will ensure all of you have a good time and return home safely. If everyone does their part, then collectively you should enjoy many nights of fun with no problems. WARNING: Just because you agreed to be the Designated Thinker doesn't mean everything is going to go smoothly. Don't be discouraged. When your friends are sober, discuss what happened with them. Ask them if they were serious about the agreement they made with you. If they weren't serious, then ask yourself, "How much time do I want to spend helping them?" If they were serious, but things still got out of hand then ask yourself, "Can I control them in the future?" Lastly, ask yourself the hard question, "Do they have a problem with drinking?" As the "Designated Thinker," you agree to take care of your friends when they go out at night - consider taking care of them during the day as well.